Drink Review: Pistonhead

May 17, 2016

Pistohead Kustom Lager, Brutal Brewing 4.6% abv

You may have seen this one already. A “custom” biker-style lager that prominently displays a skull on it’s black lacquered can. It looks rock and roll but the alcohol percentage tells me otherwise. 4.6% abv isn’t enough to get anyone “full throttle”, surely? I have already decided, just by its slick exterior that Pistonhead Kustom lager is a little too cliché but I endeavour to give it a good unbiased opinion anyway.

I’ve managed to procure a crate of around 40 bottles and cans. I begin to wonder if I can get through them all in one night and pat my liver with encouragement. I invite over a fellow cunctator and crack my first can open. Pistonhead hits me like a pond splash. It’s a typical lager, that contains a slight sweet aroma but nothing that stands out. Drinking it out of the bottle is an improvement on the canned version – less cheap tasting and flavourless. But Pistonhead is surprisingly easy to drink for a lager. Maybe too easy…

I carry on drinking and easier than a well greased bike, the cans Piston Heads disappear before us. I don’t know why I thought it would be such a challenge earlier. I drink, I smoke and pile up the cans in a mountain that even Muhammed would be fond of climbing. I carry on drinking till I pass out on my sofa in a lager-induced bliss.

Even though Pistonhead is nothing to rave about, it would come handy in a summertime piss up in a park. I could keep on drinking Piston Heads forever like it was water. It’s just an easy go-to lager that you can fall back when you get tired of the pretentious world of craft beer.

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