How To Smuggle Booze Into Festivals

May 6, 2015

When it comes to festival boozing, sometimes it’s not about the money but the lack of options. Why should we be denied our favourite bourbon when watching our favourite band? As festivals become more popular, the security is getting harsher and tighter. But by jove there is a way to undermine these muscley brutes! So without further ado, here’s The Carouser’s guide on how to smuggle booze into festivals (or concerts).

1. Camera.

A camera is heavy, comes in various types and is a festival staple found in most attendee’s pockets so it makes perfect sense to have this hollow camera and fill it with your favourite juice. It will probably be highly unlikely that the bouncer knows about cameras and won’t take a second glance at it.

2. Lotion Bottles.

You can also use sunscreen lotion bottles and fill it up with booze.  But who cares that you look mental, downing a bottle of lotion? You will be drinking sexy rum while they’re drinking flat beer. You will need to rinse it first of course. Buy these if you’re worried about getting lotion in your liquor.

3. Book.

This disguised book is also a great but a little less believable. It will still look good on your bookshelf and handy to hide your bevy if you live with alcoholic friends. You can easily make one out of a Harry Potter book which will vastly improve the contents.

4. Hair.

Fool the security by attaching a hip flask to the back of your neck like a necklace and let your long tresses do the smuggling.  Or simply go Amy Winehouse style and place it in a well hair-sprayed beehive.

5. Boobs.

Of course women do have an advantage – tits. A pair of bosoms could hide a multitude of things but if you’re not gifted with a great rack then these boob bags can even help the most flat chested of girls smuggle in a drink. For men, just simply thrust them down your pants and enjoy the bulge.

6. Women.

Women are more likely to carry these sort of contraptions. You can get tampons or Lipstick cases that carry roughly a shot. It’s debateble whether that would be worth the time but this paddle brush is just big enough to squeeze a lot of alcohol into. Though this definitely wouldn’t work for people with a lack of hair.

7. Hoods

The easiest and cheapest way would be to plonk your  hip flask into your hood and make sure it’s not hanging out. The security doesn’t love to watch you walk away, and thankfully no one else does either.

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