Sticky, sludgy, brown substances are something we’re very familiar with. So, this Easter week, we’ve decided to talk all things chocolate. Grab the tissues, this is what The Carouser is boning over.

Beer: By far the best chocolate beer we have ever tasted is Siren Brewery’s Caribbean Chocolate Cake. It tastes of pure chocoholic addiction that’s been wrapped up warm with a coat of coffee. If this is in your local bottle shop and we’re in town, we will literally wrestle you for it.

Bar: “Death By Chocolate” is being served up by Brighton’s newest rock bar The Pipeline (London’s branch has sadly shut down). And notably this drink is the owner’s favourite. It’s a mix of Absolut Pepper and Mozart White Chocolate with a sprinkle of death. Please let us know if you go and report back. Or maybe just report back anyway, I’m lonely.

Film: How could we choose anything other than Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. I mean, it was either that or Chocolate Vanilla Cum Eaters. No joke. With the passing of Gene Wilder, it’s almost saddening to watch it back now, but this ’70s movie will forever be a classic. And I’m sorry Depp, you were just too damn creepy.

Book: Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War is one of those classic books you read as a teen and always refer back to in your adult life. A dark compelling story of forcing children to sell chocolate to pay for their education. If you haven’t read it already, go back in time and correct that.

Music: And of course we had to go with Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” as our music choice. This song has lasted decades. Much longer than the lead singer Erroll Brown’s career due to him being replaced in the ’80s by his own look alike, pulled from a Stars In Your Eyes show. If that isn’t a sweaty kipper to the face, I don’t know what is.

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